Veiled from identity

The relentless control is gone, and with it vanished the power. Now what remains resembles a complicated match of hide and seek. Running wildly from one place to another spot. Searching in vain for what is not there and will not be, but is a phantom shadow always present. It taunts and teases, staying just out of reach, its' ghostly touch mocks wickedly as it passes by. Never relenting in its untamed chase from there to here in its lackadaisical way. As if chasing the wind, always felt and the product of its hand is always seen, but yet it is invisible and remains unchained. The redundent pursuit is merciless in its claim for undying consideration.

Prickly

So we went to pick a tree.... not very adveturous this year, just ventured down to tru value and big sister picked the perfect tree. Little sister fell asleep on the way. She picked a rude little scotch pine with sharp prickly needles. He was not happy to be a part of our Christmas celebration, at least not at frist. But regardless of any back talk from the unhappy little wood he was secured to the top of the jeep and carried triumphantly home! There he was trimmed up and placed securely into the tree stand. Then his spirits started to rise at least a little. 600 white lights, 30 red bow, 30 gold bows (very masculine!!) and bright multi-colored shining star, and countless others ornaments to remind us of winter and Christmas time and years gone by made everything ok again. Now he is the talk of the house. The center of every evening. The source of argument about just who might have the right to make the lights light up when evening has fallen. So, we look and remember.... remember why we celebrate this season. Remember all the things we have to be thankful for. Life is good.

Walking in the dark

Third time must be the charm. We arrived at the police department early, and loaded up with a glowing braclet for the little princess and one for the kitty cat too, then a bunch of candy. Then we made our way to the fire department. We met lots of paranoid people in the parking lot behind that didn't want us to know where they lived, so they had loaded up their candy and were giving it to us there. Sweet! Then piled up more sugar at the good ol FD. ONWARD. The princess had forgotten her flashlight at her spare castle, so we used the brightest flashlight ever created that I carry at work. The kitty cat had to carry it, and was given strict instructions that it must point only at the ground. We waited in line at one house for over 10 minutes because they had a cool ghost that was sitting on the stairs inside their house, everyone had to see that. While we stood there I think three or four people probably had seizures due to the strobe effect of the flashlight suddenly leaving the ground as instructions don't mean much if they aren't repeated 29 or 30 times. So the flash light took a little break. There were flying ghosts hanging out in a tree a couple blocks from there. As they danced over head the princess inched very close and stared at them through wide eyes. We soon tired of the game, and the phrase trick-or-treat became slightly annoying, and was only being muttered. Happy Halloween was heard a few too many times also. So we dashed bravely across the street disregarding the cross walk 6 blocks away. Then we trudged wearily homeward. The cold outing at the zoo for a few peices of candy had been fun last week, and then in and out of the car 50 million times on thursday, even the warm weather and hilarious costumes worn by others was unable to capture our undying attention. So we marched along stopping here and there as we went. Once safe from the goblins and witches, we sorted candy and took everything we didn't like out of the stash. We turned on the proch light and sat on the swing, then gave away all the gross things we had aquired..... heh heh suckers! After a bit we turned out the light and called it a night. Good time had by all. I think the most fun was getting rid of sugar that we didn't want or need, that way I don't have to throw it away in 6 months when I find it stashed on a random shelf in the pantry!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Ice Maker
Okay, so I moved my refrigerator into the pantry because my kitchen is microscopic and the pantry really rivals it for size right? But I couldn't move the copper tubing for the ice maker. SO, being the very industrious, girl that I am, I go to Lowe's and get the ice maker hose kit. AWESEOME! Two months later I decided that it had sat in the drawer long enough, so I dug it out this morning. I ventured down into the creepy cellar stab a hole in the same copper pipe that the old ice maker tubing is coming from and turn on the water..... Cool... Looks like it is working. UNTIL I BURN MYSELF!!! It is friking hot water! Okay. So moron.... it worked before, with copper tubing.... will it work with the cheap imitation plastic hose? Well, I don't know, but we will try it anyway. Never mind that it says right on the directions..... NOT FOR USE WITH HOT WATER.... So I thread the hose through the floor and go upstairs to cram myself behind the fridge under the lowest shelf in the pantry.... only to realize that I am on the wrong side. Okay, no big deal. I throw the hose across to the correct side and climb out one-goose-egg-to-head later.
I go to the other side - so I lied... NOW I cram myself under the lowest shelf in the pantry and inch worm myself to the back of the frige. Miraculously remembering to bring my trusty flash light. I get everything put together and scramble out run outside and down stairs, and turn on the water. YAY! I'm done.... Er... is water supposed to flood the pantry floor? Okay, so I am retarded, the hose somehow came off the back of the frige. Two-goose-eggs-to-head later I RUN back down stairs and turn the water off again....
How do I fix this one? *scratch head* *ouch!* Well, read the directions again... Hmmm... Okay, well something must have been wrong, but I think that is how I did it the first time. Inch worm BACK under the lowest shelf in the house to the back of the frige again. Second time's a charm right? YEEAAAHHH... well.... Okay, this time it just sprayed water a little bit, so I trimmed the hose to make sure that it was even and tried it again. SCORE! It worked... I looked for leaks and it looked good. But there was water beading up on the hose... weird. I took a closer look. Seems that my helper (soon to be aka Tid Bits the cat rug) liked the feel of the plastic hose on his razor sharp teeth. &*%$^$&*%$! SO, I trim the hose again, there is enough to reach, but if I ever have to move the frige, we will rival Noah's flood for the mess it will make. Eight or nine trips back out side and down stairs and upstairs and back inside later... I lost track... AT LAST I have it working... or so I think. I turn on the ice maker and sit and listen. Nothing. I crawl back under the shelf and look to make sure everything looks okay. It looks like there are a couple of air bubbles in the line, and they are not moving. I clamber back out and go back down stairs. Maybe I don't have the water turned on far enough? So I crank it. I don't even hear anything.... That is until I am drenched with spraying water. The hose has now come out of its connection to the main water pipe that I stabbed back in the beginning. Alright.
That's it.
Sonic, here I come.
One bag of ice please.
I hope the cellar isn't flooded! LOL.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008
My View of the Ceiling
I had an interesting view... of the ceiling. I was in such a hurry that I didn't notice my perfect opportunity for insight. Funny how we hurry so much that we miss things so huge.
I was hot, a million degrees hot. I felt weird. Not dizzy, not light headed, but weird. I thought I am going to pass out. But I REFUSED! I took off my lab coat. I thought, okay. I am good now. But it was hot. It was surface of the sun. Then it all faded away. But only for a moment. And pain, oh yeah. Pain. People pushing me down. I thought.... what the?....
So, I laid back and put an ice pack on my rather large hematoma and heard about how my head bounced off the counter top and then the floor. Wow. How embarrassing. Here I am surrounded by health care professionals, none of whom I knew. I thought, what happened? Why? What? But I didn't say it. I didn't want to have repetative questioning...haha. I don't want to see the inside of the ED, at least not as a patient. So I was quiet. I sat up and took the tylenol they offered. I got up and sat in a chair and sat there. Wow. Pain. A whole new feeling of compassion for my patients.
So, 45 minutes later I was brave enough to try out my legs... It was a little bit weird. So, I was super careful. And I carried on. Stayed the rest of the day and did what I should have been doing. I learned a lot. There are a lot of sick people walking around out there. I heard a lot of jokes about staying upright. Lots of comedians out there.
But the recurring thought (repetitive questioning....lol.) was: what happened? Why? How? What? WHAT?
And it came to me. I am only human. I can only do what one person can do. For the last several months I have been taking the verse in Corinthians 9 out of context. Making my body my slave, and not taking care of it. But God has given us our bodies and has asked us to be good stewards of everything that He has entrusted to us. So, once again I have failed. I made my priorities wrong. I have put a clean house in front of family time in the Bible. I have put a thouroghly raked yard in front of teaching my children about the love of God.
God has promised us blessings when we tithe, and I believe that has not only to do with money but also with time. I was listening to the radio the other day and I was challenged to tithe only from my waking hours. Interesting that I have never thought about that before. I have heard it sitting in the pew in church several times, but for whatever reason, God thumped me on the head and I was actually ready to listen the other day. (And I have the bump on the back of my head to prove it!) lol. So. My goal is to learn to make God my daily priority and trust Him that everything else will fall into place.

Chilled

Seeping deeply to the depths of the soul. Slowly stealing in unnoticed at its very beginnings. Cool icy fingers grasping at all in its path. When it is discovered tautness is present gently bringing the aches of days gone. Stuck, trapped, suffocating, fixed, and unmoving. Hearing, seeing, feeling. But no sound can escape. Activity continues all around, a strange bizarre circus of color and progress. Partaking in such is unworkable, seemingly deadly in risk. If touched by this extraordinary substance so near all will shatter. For the tempering of the frost has made each and every one brittle, delicate, frail. Tottering on the edge of life and what comes after, cold and far away, yet comfortable and close. Seeing the invisible, hearing the silence, feeling the absent. Vivid, stunning, glowing. Secrets untold and silent to all who speak, shout in tones of deafening clamor now. Quiet and ignored it comes pilfering until all is gone.

sunny days

blink blinking in the blinding light. a welcome reprieve from the endless darkness. foreign and odd in a new sort of way. not dissimilar to one who has been shut away for countless days and is now brought into a whiteness so bright the only thing visible is sightlessness. the warmth is felt, and a distant reaching understanding from the fog of long-ago is realized that the sun must be responsible for it. the dawning realization that being goes on with or without acquiescence. deep breath of balmy air and rest in the knowledge that survival has been attained. an unfeigned contentment overloads every sense and happiness gains sovereignty unknown in past years.

waves

high spirited and with destruction and ruin they crash and carry away the sands laid carefully on the beach by eons of experiences..... ruthlessly heartlessly carrying it away leaving behind barren cold dark mud, with gullies made by the rivers of water as they rush back to join the water only to return again with fury leaving isolated hostility in its wake... slowly and gradually even painfully the ebb and flow eases to gently remind the shoreline of days past.... the sands slowly are washed back to fill the rugged scarred coast, unhurriedly covering all evidence related to the despair of which it is capable.... soon the crevices are filled and only the smooth white shining of the suns reflection is visible to the careless observer.... but the sands are deeper and more pure, and more rooted than ever before.... with a silent dignity known only to that which has rebuilt from nothing with nothing other than what which God approved, the solemn expression of peace reigns....

wanderings.....

Like the waves of the ocean only with sudden jerking spikes which somehow do not interrupt the ebb and flow..... but oddly enough only add interest to the monotony. The secret is hidden, it is small and quiet and does not cry out to be noticed. It sleeps and wakes without a word of thanks or acknowledgment. It does not have feelings as it jealously races to repeat itself over and over, with tirelessness that cannot be called human. It slows only momentarily waiting for the next breath of fresh air to speed it on.